Okay guys. Are you frustrated that you aren’t married yet? Here are some tried and true Biblical methods of getting your mate—straight out of scripture:
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors, and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband:
On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1
These men have jobs and love the Lord.
She thinks, That’s great, but I wonder what’s on floor two? and goes up a flight.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2
These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
“Really nice husband description,” she says to herself, “yet I do want to see what’s on floor three, though.”
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3
These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4
These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking, and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5
These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but, against her better judgment, she continues on to the sixth floor and the sign reads: (more…)
There’s room for everyone on our evangelism team, even single men….
Newcomer Greg had been hanging out in Huntington Beach with Ray Comfort, preaching with him on Saturdays, but wanted to try something different by coming out with us to the Chinese New Year Parade in L. A.’s Chinatown. Having never “worked” a parade before, I charged him with an extremely difficult task: Hand out tracts to the “special” dignitaries that the married Christian men wanted no part of.
Greg, being a sensitive, godly, Christian man, was up to the challenging call, throwing all caution to the wind, willing to pick up his cross and follow Jesus. Click here to read the rest at my evangelism blog!
Did you know that the founder of eHarmony, Neil Clarke Warren, looks just like…Orville Reddenbacher!!! Wow! What a match!
And here’s a great quote from him: “Here is a startling fact: The selection you make of a marriage partner may well have more to do with the quality of your marriage than anything you do after getting married.” —Neil Clark Warren
(Thanks to TotallyLooks Like.com for the comparison photos)
Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.
—Michael Douglas
I think, therefore I’m single.
—Liz Winston
I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -–Wendy Lieberman
My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women
—Woody Allen
To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible God.
—Jorge Luis Borges
I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelled the word ‘YOU’ and I just put the letter ‘U’.
—Kelly Osbourne
I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?
—Kristin Davis
If you have money, you are wise, good-looking and can sing well too.
—Yiddish Proverb
My grandmother’s 90.
She’s dating.
He’s about 93.
It’s going great.
They never argue.
They can’t hear each other.
—Unknown
I only date stewardesses.
Or maybe it just seems that way.
Women always seem
to be showing me the exits.
—Unknown
(Read part 1 by clicking here.)
6. When is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
“When they’re rich!”
Pam, age 7
“The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.”
Curt, age 7
“The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them… It’s the right thing to do.”
Howard, age 8
7. What Would You Do on a First Date That Was Turning Sour?
“I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.”
Craig, age 9
8. The Great Debate:
Is It Better to Be Single or Married?
TOP TEN CHRISTIAN PICK-UP LINES
10. “I just don’t feel called to celibacy.”
9. “Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?”
8. “I don’t see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith.”
7. “What do you think Paul meant when he said ‘ Greet everyone with a holy kiss’?”
6. “You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa.” (DO NOT get this confused!)
5. “You know, I’m really into relationship evangelism.”
4. “I’m pretty flexible—I don’t think a woman should be submissive on the first
date.”
3. “Before tonight, I never believed in predestination…”
2. “Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical.”
And for the #1 Christian pick up line… (more…)
Paul writes that we should greet each other with a holy kiss, but many Christians today have no idea what that means. So, here’s how to to gauge whether or not your kiss is holy: Say each word below. You determine, as you enunciate each word, whether—as a single—you should go beyond a “peach kiss.”
5 Types of Kisses
(Make sure you accentuate your lip
movement as you speak each word.)
Peach
Prune
Orange
Avocado
Alfalfa
Is there a difference between men and women? You bet. Remember these differences, lady, before you get married because the only way you’ll ever be able to change a man is if he’s in diapers!
ADVANTAGES TO BEING A GUY
Here are some funny and some very profound quotes about marriage. Which ones do you like? Which ones do you disagree with?
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong admit it;
Whenever you’re right shut up.
Ogden Nash
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
Georg C. Lichtenberg
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
Joseph Barth
What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down — that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off.
Josh McDowell
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ~Author Unknown